My beloved cat passed away

I am silently unhappy, sad, depressed.
She left so suddenly (early morning of 2/7/2020 Friday) that we have no chance to say goodbye or to be by her side.  She must have felt so alone and sad.  So much regrets and sadness engulfed me.  Even papa cried when he came to the room to tell me in the morning.  It's so shocking.  When I went to see her, her eyes and mouth are opened.  Her body is not stiff.  She passed away lying down on the changing pad.  She has not eaten much as the food tray is full.  That's how papa figured out she has passed away.  Food untouched and not moving when called.
My hearts and my eyes teared when I think back the days that I can pet her and give her a rub and cuddle her.  How I wish I could be with her at her last moment and reassure her I love her and really treasure her and thank her for being a part of our family for 18 years.  She is the smartest and most beautiful and graceful cat I have ever known.  I really miss her.

May her be in a wonderful place with her mama and siblings where she can run around and explore freely and remember me once in a while until we see each other again.




                                                         

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

The song for my cat:




2020 To Do

Economic Improvements:

1.  What makes you happy. ++
2.  Study stock's microcharts (5-year price chart, Rev. Growth, Profit Margin...etc)
3.  Learning, critical thinking
4.  Celebrate often.
5.  Verbalize emotions helps you see things more clearly.
6.  6-hours workday - 30 hours a week
7.  媽媽必須做導遊，給孩子介紹這個世界。
8.  人的快樂童年何其短促，何其珍貴！
9.  我們在潛意識裡把自己對生活的期許都加在了孩子身上，希望他強大，希望他優秀，希望他不要惹麻煩。卻忘記了，他才是自己生命的主人，一切進步與成就都有發生的時間和規律。學會寬容與等待，慢慢地，等待那些生命的必然的到來，等待生命的慢慢成長，這需要溫柔的堅持。
10.  媽媽每次都用溫暖的懷抱和愛解決了問題。
11.  孩子是我們成人的老師。我們走在歲月的路上，遺忘了許多美好的風景，忽略了許多美好的事物，是孩子以一顆純真的心，用一雙稚嫩的手，幫我們一一拾回。這樣，我們在人生的暮年，才得以返回童真。

Things to share with kids

All of you can do it (read 500 pages a day), but I guarantee not many of you will do it. That's the difference.

There are more to life than just 8+ hours of work every day.

Thankful for my job which provides a steady flow of respectable amount of income, I feel tired every day.  I need to rethink how to live life in a more balance and productive way.

Maybe switch job to Tech Prog Mgmt which will be all meetings and tracking, no development related work...?

Projects for 2020: 
1.  Taiwanese passports for everyone.  Full body checkup

2  Mega-backdoor ROTH in 401K

3. Visit dad

4.  

Learn to be a gracious competitor

Everyone needs to learn to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser.

Human kindness first

Use your intelligence in a positive way, cultivate the warm-heartedness that can be the catalyst of constructive change.

Materialistic goals aside, cultivate human kindness first.

Terrible July 2019

Have to record all the bad things that happened in the month of July 2019

July 22:

Father-in-law Interment Ceremony
.  big waste of money
.  big unhappiness from MIL and SIL

Sis got hit by Uninsured Motorist whom even try to claim medical coverage

July 25-26:
SIL and MIL went crazy.
First foul words text from SIL
Then MIL forced face to face talk in car during commute home. Spilled out all the unhappiness accumulated from all these years.

July 27, want to pretend all is good after the big argument.  But no thanks,  really.

July 31, the big court hearing day for sis:
Postponed because judge got last minute filling from Sung

Got the 8k+ bill from lawyer.

Silver Linings of the month.

John finally showed up on 7/31 at mom's home to start the repair.

Strangest dream

Had the strangest dream last night!

Dreamed I was married to a totally stranger someone else.  Tall, chubby and Chinese but have no idea who he is.  I was told he works for the school in a search lab and we were married not that long ago.  Someone made the comment saying "he is not divorced or anything" so it might be that it's my second marriage?  It feel crazy to be told to be married to someone I have absolutely no knowledge about.  And every word that person said just becomes very personally disturbing when it's not right.  So the conversation was more like "let's get on to having kid(s)!"  My mom was somehow a younger version of her true self and I was in Taiwan.  Also because I was staying at a house of our relatives with a large number of my own family for a few weeks, I was told to write a check for 14 some million Taiwan dollar from my dad's account.

Everything seems so real but disturbing.  I could still remember a lot o it upon waking up.  I keep wondering what if I need to issue the check, how much is it really in HK dollar or US dollars.  Who is that guy anyways?  Have I seen someone like that in real life?  What terrible feeling to be married to the wrong someone.  There is just nothing worth to be tied to someone you don't know or care.   Really the worst feeling of it all.

So it got me thinking... what if I have to remarry under some circumstance.  Would it be better to stay single or I just need to spend more time with that person before making a decision.  It's all a bit confusing or maybe more disturbing.  Also, I should treat my husband better... in every sense....

Happy at Work

I am happy when
1.   I found problems and filed bugs.
2.   I made real friend at work who shares both work and personal knowledge.
3.  I get a raise or reward.
4.  I successfully filed a patent.
5.  I have good manager who told me I weigh my weight in gold!
6.  my work allows me to also handle my personal needs.  (parents, kids, other things...)
7.  the coffee at work is GREAT!!

2019 - To be achieved

新年的心愿清单

工作，财务，健康，成长，娱乐，感情: 每一方面：自己投入了多少（时间和金钱)

1.  Less sugar and carbo.
2.  Smile more.
3.  Be soft spoken.
4.  Calm & Cool.  Speak calmly and softly to the kids!
5.  Work standing up.
6.  Replace bad word with "Oh, Geez!"
7.  想要的越少，束缚就越少，做一个极简生活的践行者。
8.  临场反应能力慢，创意不足是我的缺点，逻辑性强，规划性强，自律和学习能力是我的优点。
9.  Read and summarize learning
10.  钱多事少离家近的工作 
11.  不去抱怨，寻找解决问题的方式，解决问题
12.  远离一切负面语言和能量
13.  Ability to make far-sighted choice(s). Made big decisions by discussing them twice: once while drunk, once while sober.  (^_^)   Decide which option would be most appealing today, later this year, and decades from now; which would be preferable emotionally, financially, and morally; and which is better for you, your family, and society.  Seeking out diverse perspectives on the choice, challenging your assumptions, making an explicit effort to map the variables”—constituted “a step up” from the pro-and-con lists.  First ask ourselves what we value, then seek to maximize that value.  A decision is essentially a value-maximizing equation.  Plug in your values, and the right choice pops out.  Vegemite Principle: if you’ve never tasted Vegemite, then neither a description of what it’s like (black, gooey, vegetal) nor experience with other spreads (peanut butter, marmalade, Nutella) will suffice to tell you whether you’d like it.  Before having children, you may enjoy clubbing, skydiving, and LSD; you might find fulfillment in careerism, travel, cooking, or CrossFit; you may simply relish your freedom to do what you want. Having children will deprive you of these joys. And yet, as a parent, you may not miss them. You may actually prefer changing diapers, wrangling onesies, and watching “Frozen.” These activities may sound like torture to the childless version of yourself, but the parental version may find them illuminated by love, and so redeemed. You may end up becoming a different person—a parent. The problem is that you can’t really know, in advance, what “being a parent” is like. For Paul, there’s something thrilling about this quandary. Why should today’s values determine tomorrow’s? In her 2014 book, “Transformative Experience,” she suggests that living “authentically” requires occasionally leaving your old self behind “to create and discover a new self.” Part of being alive is awaiting the “revelation” of “who you’ll become.”

14.  Life decisions touch on the question of who we aspire to become.  There are some vague sense of its value that's hard to express, which you hope that some future version of yourself might properly grasp.

15.  HIIT = High Intensity Interval Training

快樂人生關鍵

在人生路上做對的選擇：
朋友
怎麼用時間
自我理


有穩定的家庭生活：
擁有長期互相扶持的伴侶，
乖巧上進健康的孩子。

有健康的身心：
健康即財富， 零醫療費用，不必進出醫院
保持精神健康，沒有不必要的壓力，有满足感
去戶外運動，鍛練健身， 足夠的休息。
 
有幾個知己好友：
擁有具智慧，態度平和，胸襟廣闊，而善良的朋友

有清楚的目標：
清楚自己的目標，用積極主動態度去參與，令自己生活充實
積極安排利用工作和業餘時間 。

有正確的人生態度：
內心滿足，有樂於施予的心態 ，
對身邊事物更拿得起、放得下 ，
精神上能長期處於快樂、滿足的情緒。 

沒有金錢的煩惱：
有自己舒服整齊的房子，
有房地產的租金收入，
有足夠的累積資產。

有很多的時間：
出旅行，出學習 ，
做自己真正喜欢的事

對自己年齡的外表滿意：

做人很簡單

早睡
食少D
多做運動
心情開朗
無牽掛
準時
勤力
EQ高D
懂得人際關係
培養個人魅力
要有專業學問
總之:樂天知命、努力求進

-周潤發