Bad people around me

 1.  The Status Conscious, Double-Faced Mother In Law

Made my son kneel down and scolded him for misplacing his homework papers.

Accused me of being a bad daughter-in-law for not having any pictures of her or her husband in my house.

2.  The Psycho Sister In Law

Lied through her teeth.

Took stuff from me and never returned.

Made my husband pay her for living with their mom and "being a driver".

Took my kids gift money from grandma, $26,000.

Made my husband pay for the pearl necklace, a gift from my MIL for the marriage.  $10,000.

3. The "Keeping Up with the Jones" Sister

Never appreciative of whatever help she got from us family.  Money, housing, cooking, car, etc.

4.  The Negative Complainer

Always have a truckload of negativity to dump on others. Always talk to get information from others but never share any useful information.

5.  The Snake-like Manager

One of the worst manager in my previous workplace.  No decency or courtesy to his female coworkers whatsoever.  Just slave drive everyone and step on them to move up. Expertise in taking credits from the team as his own.  Also very stingy as a manager and biased and unfair.  Really make going to work a nightmare!  He did well for himself but everyone else moved on - far away from him or chose to retire.

6.  The Putin-like Manager

Classic chauvinistic male manager who would ask the females to make a coffee for him, go ahead order team lunch or plan a team outing.  And always asks the female to take meeting minutes, send it out to the team and update the Team Wiki.  Females are stuck with doing all the clerical work!  Again minimal reward for these extra efforts on top of the already tight work schedules.  I think half of his team left him after the project and he also moved on to some other group.  

7.  The Busy, Know-it-all (yeah right.)

Young guy who always shows he knows everything and pretend to be so busy carrying the majority of the team's workload when in fact that's far from the truth.  He just want all the visibility he could get.  Not an open, honest person.  Definitely someone to avoid at all costs.

8.  Laziest Teammate you will ever encountered

Always politely play dumb and need your help or guidance. Acts the same way even after going through the same thing 3-4 times.  His standard saying is "I am not sure.  You know best." to try to avoid doing anything or leading.  Just hide behind others and do minimal, simple tasks.  Come in to work just to social and have lunch with his buddies.  Of course, another type to avoid at all cost.  Don't trust or have this kind of team mate.  It's just a waste of headcount.  The thing is they try to act and talk super nice and polite but when you hear the content of their words, you will be furious and be in shock on what you just heard from them.  No lie is too outrageous to tell for them as long as they say it humbly.

9. Lazy Young Female Engineers)

Again do minimal, just serve the manager, talk nice, organize party and order goodies for the team to gain like.  Did minimal and crappy engineering work and move up to Manager after getting married and have a baby!  Now as manager, they, too, are slave drivers.  Scary bunch.

10.  Overweight, Obsolete Manager. 

He is in all meetings but just sit there and listen.  Not much contribution to the discussion but will just listen to issues and see if any thing falls into his plate to be assigned. His job is just to be in project and management meetings, nothing ever trickles down, information or bonus, never.  No one more stingy than this guy.  When an important engineer left, only those who is currently working with him can be in the farewell lunch.  Everyone else who had worked with him or in the same team as him or know him can not come to the farewell party.  People like him in the company is really good for nothing.  Not making an impact and not building people up.

11.  The Fake Leader

The one who rolled up other people's statuses and present it in the program/project/team meeting.  Don't do actual work nor have any leadership guidance in the team.  Have been in the company for a long time and know which team to join to continue the cruising and in auto retirement mode.

12.  The Stress Transferor

Never smile, focus only about the program issues, schedules and milestones.  Forgot about the human side of the team.  You get very stressed working under him and actually very unhappy, too.  You forgot why you need to work so hard and ended up burnout and want to quit.

13.  Useless Behind-Kissing Director.

Make suggestions from time to time but for the most part just handle or the social activities in the business unit.  Serve the VP's ESG agendas and carry out the holiday celebration/decoration/planning, video recording, team building type of activities.  Try to show off as to have good taste in food selection or decorations for the festive events, all on the company expenses of course.

14.  Young ambitious bixxx

Non stopping pinging you with questions, copy confluence pages and slides you have created and make it like she created it.  Quick to put other down saying their work is a bit wonky and always tried to remind others she has been in the company longest compare to the most of the folks.  But she forgot she's not a developer or doing development work, just support projects.  Avoid such person at all cost.

There are many more, but these are the key players that can make work life and life outside work miserable.  The best thing would be to stay away and cut ties with them.

Early Retirement - the good and the bad...

 So, I have tried early retirement from Oct 5 to May 16.  

The goods... not that much.

I did the 15-9, 16-8 eating schedule since I can wake up late and totally lost my belly fat.  That's one tough goal achieved!!

I get to "adopt" and outdoor cat that comes everyday around the same time.  I feed and play with her.

I brushed up on skills needed for my interview and the path to my next career.

I made a new friend who lives close by.  She is someone I can call and talk to about anything.  It almost felt like we have known each other since elementary school.

I managed to catchup on many dramas and movies and had a good time finishing them. (But that needs not be something to do or start only in retirement.)

I got my daughter back to swim training and started her on her path to getting braces.

I get to watch some Hong Kong show on YouTube. (but stopped after a while)

I get the opportunity to think and tried asset management.

Played with my stamp collections and ordered more.  (But got tired and have had enough of it)

Started looking at crypto stuff...

I decluttered a little, ordered a few thing...

The bad...

Well, because of the lockdown, I was not able to fly and visit my dad.  He passed away.  :-(

I was depressed and have nothing to occupy my mind with the lost of my dad.  I stayed in bed a lot.

I was not motivated.  I was not a better mom or wife or homemaker.  I don't get up early or have a fixed schedule.  I felt empty.

I spent too many hours on games on the cell phone.  It's ridiculous!!  It's addiction!  Cut it out already!

Retirement without your spouse also retiring is just not the right way to go about it.

Days went by without achieving much and no income flow.  Not good.

You feel obsolete living in the High Tech area when everyone is busy and engaged in something.

How to see dad in my dream

 I have found out a way to see my dad in my dream recently.

I have my dad's picture at my bedroom mirror.

I have small LED candle lights that will flicker that I bought from Amazon set up near the picture.

I have placed a small plant near the mirror.

Before going to sleep, I will turn off the light in the room and turn on the LED candle lights and close the bedroom door to make sure it's all quiet.

I will remember the great times I have with my dad and say it out these happy times and thank him.

I will thank him for his love and for being who he is and for my happy childhood.

I will thank him for being so generous with us, which is something I should learn from him now that I am a mom.  

I will tell him I love him and I wish him well even he is no longer in this world.

I will let my tears flow and I will fill my heart with gratefulness and love for my dad.

I will stay quiet for some more time and just let myself immerse in my thoughts of him.  

When I am ready, I will turn off all the LED lights and go to bed.

That night, I indeed saw my dad when he is still in good health.

My mom, my brother and I took him to somewhere as we checked-in to a hotel.

He was wearing a suit jacket and he was telling me now he's not used to wearing a suit top, even though he has been wearing one during his 40 years of corporate life being a Director in a Japanese company.

I told him this suit like top is much thinner and softer so it's not really a suit top.  And it looks good on him.  

We kept on walking and went to a restaurant inside the hotel to have Shabu Shabu.  Or was it Sukiyaki?  I could not remember.  But it was some good family time!!

After that, we walked to a place, also within the hotel, to what seemingly a reserved appointment for sauna and massage.  Something my dad has always loved!  I thought I have forgotten about that but subconsciously I still remember that and it appeared in my dream to remind me!  How amazing our subconscious could be!

While my dad went in for this appointment, my mom talked to the lady there who seemed to be the owner.  She is maybe 5-10 years younger than my mom and was very hospitable.  They talked about something from the past, their experiences when they were younger.  

Then I remember my brother saying, "The beef we just had was not the best."  (That's actually how I remembered my brother was actually in my dream!). My mom was so smooth that she quickly changed the subject with the owner maybe worried that she also own or know the owner of the restaurant.  She moved on to talking about her experiences in Japan.  

I think I have everyone right in my dream.  What they are like and what they will say... well, at least according to me.  

I have also dreamed of my dad multiple times before that, while my mom said she has not even once saw my dad in her dream after he passed.

The following are some short memories from my dreams:

1.  I saw dad waiting at a bus stop near my brother's primary school with a bunch of other people also waiting at the bus stop.  I did not talk to my dad but more like an observing from some distance seeing the scene.

2.  I dreamed that my mom and I were on a road trip with dad to visit an older couple.  After the seemingly long drive, we arrived at their house which is very open, very Japanese, wooden countryside like with large openings with not glass as the windows.  We sat with them and chat over tea.  Then my dad fell asleep (as he used to do in his late years) and we just kept on talking with the couple and let me dad sleep.  

3.  In my dream, I saw dad asking me why his forehead's skin is peeling.  And I saw indeed there are white dry skin peeling on his forehead.  He tried to rub off the dried skin but they it started to thinned the skin and turned red and bloody.  I felt so sad and woke up still feeling sad.

I hope I will see my dad more often in my dream.  I regret I have not told him how much I really love him and how much I want to thank him for being my dad.  But I hope he will feel and sense it in another "world" and is "living" as his younger, stylish, intelligent self.

Family Trip

Because of the tough task I need to achieve in 2017 in Taiwan, the family trip with mom and dad ends up to be one of the most important and memory trip and gift in my lifetime.

It was the last trip my dad ever take.

It was the last meal we ever had with dad's 100 years old sister.

It was the first and last time we visited dad's sister's house in Taiwan and took pictures of her album with dad's photos when he was young.

Start writing everyday.

I miss my dad.  I bought a stuffed animal, which is a bunny, two days ago.  Now I made the connection that my dad was born in the Year of the Rabbit...

I am not happy with how my kids are not doing and learning more.  I don't communicate properly with them enough to be their better self.  I don't know how to motivate them.  I also am not setting a good example to them myself.  I need to change.

Maybe I can introduce her to blogger?  It's good to have an outlet to express.

My son lost 3 teeth this week!  His third, fourth and fifth.